Choosing the person to be the best man at your wedding can often be a difficult decision. So many questions come into this decision, and you wonder if you should choose your best friend from high school or college, the guy you hang out with after work at night, or your brother. This can also be difficult for the man who is chosen if he doesn’t know exactly what is expected of him before, during, and after the wedding takes place. In order to make it easier for your best man, now or in the future, some of the finer points have been detailed for you.

Choosing a Best Man

The most important role of the best man is that he is the guy who is going to stand beside you during the ceremony, so you want to choose someone who isn’t going to cause embarrassment when he is seen in your wedding photographs years later. For that reason you should choose someone who has stood by you through good and bad times as well as someone you expect will remain a part of your life for the rest of your life.

One of the most common choices for this role is a member of the family such as your father, a brother or a favorite cousin. Choosing one of these is a good choice since you will probably still be speaking to them many years from now, but if you have several brothers or cousins, you need to make sure that each one has a part to play in your wedding because it’s obvious that not everyone can be best man.

Before the Wedding

Usually the best man is expected to pay for his own tuxedo rental as well as attending at least one fitting before the day of the wedding. Additionally, if he lives in the area, he may be asked to visit the tuxedo shop with the bride and groom to assist in the choosing of tuxedos.

The most important role the best man plays (at least to many men) is that of being responsible for planning and throwing the bachelor party. This “last fling as a single” can be dinner and a party up to and including a trip out of town. It usually always involves paid entertainment, but it depends on what the groom enjoys and how much money the groomsmen are willing to spend for the event.

The best man is also expected to attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. Traditionally, he is not expected to give a toast at this meal because the parents of the couple tend to take charge of the toast at this event.

The best man is also relied upon to help transport things to the ceremony and reception as well as anything else the couple needs in the busy days prior to their wedding.

The Wedding Day

On this day, the best man’s responsibility is helping the groom get dressed, relax, get to the ceremony on time and being in charge of holding the rings until time for the ceremony to take place. The best man is also a witness to the ceremony and signs the marriage certificate. Additionally, the best man hands the envelope with the money to the person performing the ceremony (minister, priest, rabbi, etc.) prior to the start of the ceremony.

In addition to standing for photos, he will also be expected to walk with the maid or matron of honor and dance with her. If there is a traditional banquet table at the reception, he will sit to the left of the groom. He also may be asked to make any arrangements for transportation or to drive the bride and groom to and from the ceremony. He will also be responsible for transporting gifts to the home of the couple of their parents as well as collecting all the rented formalwear for return to the rental shop if he lives in town.

The best man also performs the toast for the bride and groom. This can be funny, serious, or a combination of these depending on the desires of both the couple and the best man. He will also usually organize the orders of any other toasts that are to be given at the reception.

Being best man at someone’s wedding does require a great deal of work but it is a great honor, nonetheless and should not be taken lightly.